Okay so I know its been awhile since I have posted on my blog, but as I sat on the couch in my apartment needing a break from my homework I thought about my blog and decided to share my experience in college so far.
      
       Lets start off saying procrastination, messy buns, and coffee lots and lots of coffee. The first week of college was interesting, having to walk what felt like a mile from one class to another was even more interesting. I realized week one that homework, something I really hadn't done much of since middle school was going to be a major pat of my life. I also realized that professors at college and teachers in my sweet little home town are a lot different. I was no longer going to be asked about my weekend or reminded to turn in my paper by my professors like my teachers in high school did. This is what lead to all the procrastinating I have been doing. But luckily I have still yet to miss a due date or fail a test. (knock on wood).

         To end my first week of college I went through recruitment. For those of you that don't know what that it is, its basically the process one goes through to be in a sorority. This was something I had been looking forward to for awhile, sadly it wasn't what I wanted and I opted out of the process. It was a wonderful experience though and I met a ton of amazing people. Whose to say I wont try it again next year!

           As of now my schedule consist of : coffee, class, sleep, homework, work, Greys Anatomy re-runs with my roommates, and this neat little college ministries I have started going to. Although college is way different than high school in almost every aspect and I already have joked about dropping out, twice.... I don't think (ask me again after mid terms) that I'd change my choice to come to this new town and embark on this journey. Its been a huge adjustment and its defiantly not what everyone says but this is where my future truly begins and I am excited to see where it goes.

    I have sat on and thought about the legalization of gay marriage all day. I wanted to carefully sort through my thoughts and confusions before I spoke on the topic. First let me start with I love God, Secondly, I love people, and lastly I am not perfect and I have by far fallen short of the glory of God. What I'm about to write is completely my opinion and I hope no one condemns how I feel about the situation.

   As soon as I saw that the bill was past I immediately saw negativity and hate towards people. My heart was broken by the lord and his voice was heard, " love, love, love". Than he led me to the verse, John 13:34  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Speaking of my own intimate relationship with the lord it has been completely built on forgiveness and love. God has forgiven me for so much and has held me and healed me in my most darkest hour. When I think of judging someone for a sin like sexuality I'm instantly broken. How and why would I even try to take that power from my all knowing father? It is simply not my place.

   Over the past years I have met many people who live this lifestyle. Are they horrible people? Nope. Are they abominations? Defiantly not. Do they deserve to be happy? Yes. By me being open minded and loving to them I have been able to share my relationship with God and advance his Kingdom. My life would not be as colorful if it wasn't for some of these people.
 
     Has gay marriage personally hurt you? I'm going to take a wild guess here and say no. Has your hatred and disgust looks hurt them? Deep down it probably has. Has there sexuality hurt God ? Probably, but your hatred and judgments has hurt him just as much. First and foremost I know it is my job to love others because this is the easiest way to show them the love the lord has spoken to my life. Ultimately I know who is in control and I know that as a body of Christ we can use this situation just as Jesus used situations and turn hem into miracles. It is each and every one of ours duties to advance his kingdom an not allow the world to mask how great his love is for everyone.

Less of me for more of you

     Sharing the story of my mission trip to Jamaica has been extremely hard thing for me to do and I have yet to be able to go into great detail about it. The reason to this is because it was probably one of the most trying and emotional weeks of my life. Being in a poverty stricken place with no comfots of home left me feeling incredibly empty and at the end of my rope. I felt like I had no one to turn to and no where to release this burden of despair. Feeling completely alone the Lord lead me to the cross and transformed my heart just as he lead me to share my experience of his extreme love and power today.
     2 Corinthians 12:9-10New International Version (NIV)

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

      These two verses are such a great expression of what exactly happened to me that week and what is still happening to me now back home. The Lord used my emptiness and vulnerability to fill me with his perfect love. He was able to drain me of the world and pour into me his power and strength. Through that I was able to see so much more clear the plans he had for my life. He also showed me that missions is something that not just every other Christian is called to but something every Christian is called to.

       In Matthew 28:19 God says " Go therefore and make disciples of all nations" When God says that he's not  just talking to a select few but to all of his children. This verse was a huge slap in the face to me. Even though God was completely able to transform me and make me his hands and feet in Jamaica I told myself I was NEVER going to put my self in this emotionally draining position again. Than I realized that is not my choice, God is the one who makes plans for our life. This trip taught me that you cant just give the Lord the things we want him to fix but that we have to completely surrender all of us to him.

        It is our job to literally go light the world with Jesus's love. Yes we have a mission field right her in our back yards but we all have to step up and share his love in the darkest most uncomfortable places. We are all called to missions we are called to love. We our the children of God and he has placed that calling on all of our lives. We are all given spiritual gifts and some of gifts may not thrive in third world places but that does not mean we are exempt from Matthew 28:19. When your vulnerable and aren't thriving you may discover a spiritual gift you never knew you had but you have to give yourself the opportunity to have less of yourself and more of God.